Pastor Adam Fannin of the Stedfast Baptist Church of Jacksonville, Florida, recently advised his congregation on how to avoid a gay waiter:
If I ever go to a restaurant and sit down and here comes this flaming foo-foo fruit loop – I’m just like, oh great. I’m here to have a date night, enjoy some time with my wife and because of the lisps, I can’t even, you know.
My recommendation – if you don’t just get up and leave – my recommendation is just don’t order anything. You sit there patiently and look around and you will find a lady that looks like a mom, that looks like a very diligent worker.
You will find somebody that you notice that’s busy, that’s doing stuff. You say, “Yeah, that’s the one right there!” You walk up to them and you say, “Hey, what’s your name? Have we had you before? Can we get you over here?” I guarantee you it always works. That’s how you avoid a gay waiter.
In an amazing coincidence, Stedfast Baptist is listed as an active anti-LGBT hate group by the Southern Poverty Center.